Journals15
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pride meme (this is LATE)
3 min read
1. what’s your gender?
cis female
2. what are your pronouns?
she/her, they/them
3. is your family accepting?
my immediate family is (i'm not really sure about my younger brother, i just think he needs to be further educated/needs to warm up to the idea more) ,,, i know one side of my extended family is as well but idk about the other side
4. what do you wish you could tell your past self?
honestly???? don't rush yourself, and it's okay to feel this way!!
5. what is your sexuality?
bisexual w/ preference for the same sex, although i'm still sort of questioning a little bit
6. favorite color
hmmmm not to be a basic bitch but blue probably,,,,, or like. sunset orange
7. sun gay or moon gay?
MOON GAY
8. when did you find out your sexuality?
when i was 12 i knew that i definitely wasn't straight i'll tell u that bc i had the FATTEST crush on one of my friends
9. how was your day?
PRETTY NORMAL, REALLY HOT, IM TIRED
10. do you have any gay friends?
mmmm like 3 irl ones ,,,,,,, that i KNOW OF
11. what’s your favorite hobby?
uhhh i spend a lotta my time reading && playing video games LMAO
12. who’s the best gay icon in your opinion?
IDK IM REALLY PRESSED FOR THIS ONE
13. which pride flags do you like the most design/color wise?
tbh i like the lesbian pride flag but also the classic lgbtq+ pride flag is SUPER CUTE I have one in my room
14. are you openly out?
uhhhh not really, it's most like one foot in the closet and one foot out — i've been trying to hype myself up to just make it openly known but i'm still really wary, esp during a time with so much political turmoil and when I live in a conservative small town
15. are you comfortable with yourself?
NO
16. bottom or top?
either one uhhhhhhhhhhh
17. femme or butch?
IM PROBABLY MORE BUTCH BUT I DONT IDENTIFY AS EITHER ONE REALLY
18. do you bind?
nah
19. do you shave?
yes I basically shave every inch of my body esp during the summer
20. if you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be?
Death
21. do you have a partner (s)?
not atm nope
22. describe your partner (s)?
non-existent
23. have you ever dated anyone of the same sex?
NO AND IM RLY SAD I HAVENT
24. anyone of another sex?
ALSO NO
25. pastel gay or goth gay
probs goth gay
26. favorite dad in dream daddies?
delete this question
27. tell me a random fact about yourself?
I rly want a tattoo when i'm older but my parents wont let me until I move the fuck out
28. do you own any pride flags/merch?
I have a pride flag!!!!!!! but I rly want more merch like a shirt
29. have you ever been to a pride parade?
NO I HAVENT
30. any advice to someone who isn’t out or who are exploring themselves?
DONT RUSH && FEEL FREE TO EXPLORE
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mini revelation
2 min read
i'm starting to like literature again!
the reason for my inactivity lately is that i've been pretty depressed and majorly stressed for a while, even though i might have not realized it while it was actually happening.
to be honest, i'm still trying to get back onto my feet.
i really hate school.
over easter break i got to reading a lot again, as in, the amount that i used to be able to absorb — to the point where i got through two 400-page novels in a single day.
and i ended up buying a fair amount of books. by "fair amount" i mean ten.
oops.
thankfully i've only read six of them.
additionally, i now have an anxiety journal, so i'm hoping that will also help me out a little bit when i'm in that awkward place between "minor inconvenience" and "i'm about to have a major anxiety attack".
we're also beginning research papers in english which is about time because i'm really tired of doing anything besides writing or creating another god damned analytical essay.
so! yay! that's me!
the reason for my inactivity lately is that i've been pretty depressed and majorly stressed for a while, even though i might have not realized it while it was actually happening.
to be honest, i'm still trying to get back onto my feet.
i really hate school.
over easter break i got to reading a lot again, as in, the amount that i used to be able to absorb — to the point where i got through two 400-page novels in a single day.
and i ended up buying a fair amount of books. by "fair amount" i mean ten.
oops.
thankfully i've only read six of them.
additionally, i now have an anxiety journal, so i'm hoping that will also help me out a little bit when i'm in that awkward place between "minor inconvenience" and "i'm about to have a major anxiety attack".
we're also beginning research papers in english which is about time because i'm really tired of doing anything besides writing or creating another god damned analytical essay.
so! yay! that's me!
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nostalgia
1 min read
putting words together to create a coherent piece feels as unfamiliar as having the recommended amount of sleep
a pencil used for anything other than school-affiliated work is foreign to me
the constant writer's callus is the only thing connecting me to what was only months ago but yet it feels like centuries have passed
the question is whether or not i'm going to fall back into the practice of creating poetry
or to accept that this was simply another stage of hundreds that make up my lifelong interests and hobbies
a pencil used for anything other than school-affiliated work is foreign to me
the constant writer's callus is the only thing connecting me to what was only months ago but yet it feels like centuries have passed
the question is whether or not i'm going to fall back into the practice of creating poetry
or to accept that this was simply another stage of hundreds that make up my lifelong interests and hobbies
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HELLO MY DUDES
2 min read
sorry for the long absence! if i'm super duper honest i have/had like. 0 motivation for anything. including writing.
and i was also getting tired of dwelling on my own negative feelings.
i think this little break in writing has made me better - gave me a fresh perspective on things. i'll have you guys know i'm going to be drabbling in prose for a little most likely, but i think i'll always have a soft spot for poetry.
speaking of, i'm starting a new series! it isn't really in any particular time constraint, but it'll be based off of and featuring different phobias. in case you haven't seen the first one: aphenphosmphobia ( a fear of intimacy )
i find phobias very fascinating and easier to write about than most things. of course, some of these have been experienced by yours truly, so i suppose that has a hand in it.
also, i'll probably get to changing my layout. it looks really boring and i feel like it doesn't properly represent me. guys, i think i've been painting a very inaccurate picture about myself. what i have here doesn't feel like me. i'll probably elaborate
on that at some point, but not right now - i have too much to be excited about <3
TL;DR back from hiatus, new phobia series, and changing up the layout!
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seven word story time!
1 min read
rent is tomorrow
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